Friday, August 28, 2009

A Recent Conversation

This is from a little visit to the doctor earlier this week. I'm still scratching my head over this one.

Doctor: Hi, Ms. Williams. What brings you in today?

Me: Well, I have this hard knot on the inside of my hand. It kind of shifts around and it gets more swollen and painful as the day goes on. I just wanted to make sure I don't have a bone fragment or something floating around in there.

Doctor: What you have is a [insert medical term here] cyst. It's caused by using your hands a lot, blah, blah, blah.

Me: OK. So what can I do about it?

Doctor: Your friends will tell you to hit it with a Bible [Doctor is now slapping his own hand with a pretend Bible to illustrate this technique]. But that doesn't work. So you can put some ice on it when it gets swollen. Oh, and try not to use your hand as much.

Me: So, don't use my hand and don't hit it with a Bible?

Doctor: Yes. And if it gets so big you can't close your hand, then we'll have to remove it.


So in summary, I'm just going to hang out here trying not to use my hand. And when I have a growth the size of a tennis ball attached to my palm, perhaps I'll do something about it. But please, don't waste your breath telling me to hit it with a Bible; I'm sure that was the first remedy you thought of. Apparrently it doesn't work. Who knew?

Photo from here.


~ Kelly Ann ♥ said...

That pic- Sesame Street Grover --Too funny.
My sister inlaw had this - she had to have it removed. I hope you feel better soon. It's kind of hard not to use hands- it's like saying don't use your legs-

Take care

Kotori said...

Hilarious! Who would have thought of hitting it with the Bible? Perhaps your first mistake was going to a dr. who looks like Grover? :)

Seriously, though, hope your hand feels better. This advice was like the one I got from my back surgeon who told me to just not pick up my children for 6 months. Like that was going to happen.

Ginger said...

WHAT!? Doctors drive me crazy. I just went to my GP for hormonal-related problems, and was told I needed to go on a diet pill. Now, I have a healthy BMI, and am in a good weight-range for my height. Diet pill?! I swear, they just make stuff up.

jeanine said...

Hitting it with a Bible huh? that is the weirdest thing I've ever heard...

Erin said...

My advice: get a new doctor.

If that doesn't work, maybe try the bible thing. ;)

merium said...

Actually, it does work~I smashed mine against the side of the microwave~accidently~years ago and it hasn't come back. It really hurt tho, and I wouldn't recommend it!

Emily said...

Chris, I totally had this (small surgery) done our senior year in High School. Ganglion Cyst! It was painful and right during Volleyball season, huh! I just thought that was interesting... Em

down and out chic said...

oh my goodness. i have heard of the bible thing, but you know, my brother had something similar and they drained it. i think they eventually did surgery maybe, but it wasn't a huge thing.
i say, get a second opinion! how are you supposed to use your hand less?